My Dad, 1991 We sat on the other side of the doctor’s desk. My father was wedged between my mother and me, just in case he tried to make a break for it. It turns out, I was the one who wanted to run. The doctor started off in a light, conversational tone but my father, even in his confused state knew an interrogation was coming. He looked to me, a weak nervous smile on his face, and I wanted to stop what was coming next. But we were there for answers – even if I didn’t really want to believe what those answers might be. “How many children do you have?” The doctor asked. My father broke into a wide smile; he knew the answer – lucky seven – like the back of his hand. He even managed to name us all, which in his younger years would sometimes cause him trip over the names, as parents often do. “Can you name their spouses?” And with just the second question, everything began to unravel. My father peered at me nervously, like a kid trying to cheat on a test; my hands Read on...
Shoot the Inner, Sitting Duck
My last post, "Nailing Financial Predators," may have left some feeling like an easy mark. But what if we could take our six natural human responses to persuasion and make them work in our favor? Well, we can. Here are some ideas on how to proactively take charge and shoot that inner, sitting duck: 1. Authority - If we respond to the perception that someone has expertise or power over us, it's best to make sure that that reverence is actually warranted before heeding their advice. Seek out respected authorities on investing, such as Warren Buffett; who keeps his advice simple: "When trillions of dollars are managed by Wall Streeters charging high fees, it will usually be the managers who reap outsized profits, not the clients. Both large and small investors should stick with low-cost index funds." 2. Reciprocity - When someone does a kindness (even with ulterior motives), we are tempted to do something kind in return. What if the good starts with us? Seek out a helpful Read on...
Intelligence is no Match for Ignorance
I remember the first time I helped a colleague of Tony’s switch out of a horrible 403(b). Tony had come to me aghast over what he had seen; an annuity with 4% in fees and longstanding surrender fees. We had no idea that this was not the exception to the rule; nor did we realize that this would become our full-time obsession. Here was an educated, savvy woman who had absolutely no idea how badly she was being ripped off. It turns out that there were many more teachers, just like her, who had listened to recommendations from esteemed (but ignorant) colleagues. One-by-one they formed a chain of the blind leading the blind and, in spite of their intelligence; they all went right over the same cliff. Secretly I wondered if I could have been one of these people, if I didn’t know what I knew. The answer is probably. Let’s face it; most people would rather not spend their free time researching where they should squirrel away funds for a rainy day some decades into the future. If Read on...
Matters of the Heart
I learned, at a fairly young age, that life can change as quickly as it takes a heart to beat. It was the day before Thanksgiving, 1973, when my father suffered a heart attack. He was 56 and I was 8. As the sole breadwinner, I am sure all the worries he had about caring for his wife and seven kids (four of whom were minors) were pinging in his head, keeping time with his rapid pulse rate. Thankfully, after several weeks in the hospital, he was allowed to come home in time for Christmas. It was a gift; but frankly, the anxiety over his health issues would haunt me throughout his lifetime. Fortunately, he lived into his late eighties; but having no way of knowing that he would be blessed with longevity, I began the egg-shell walk that would span decades. It took me well into my adulthood before my fears eased up a bit. Perhaps experiencing milestones that I worried might never come, like having my father walk me down the aisle, allowed me to exhale. And now, at the age of Read on...