Crises of any kind usually require all of our attention at once. After the immediate emergency or threat passes and the brain stops pinging, reflection is possible; such was the case for me in the months following September 11, 2001. It had taken a while for the shock to wear off, but when it did, my perspective was irreparably altered and my sense of urgency was acute – for a time, anyway.

On that fateful day, the World Trade Center was quite a distance from my midtown office.  I (along with the rest of the world) fixated on the lives that were being destroyed. Having worked in 2 World Trade for several miserable years of my career,  I knew people down there, including a former colleague.

He worked on the 69th floor of Tower 2.  He played Lotto faithfully, hoping to free himself of a job and a life that took more from him than it replenished.   (In fact, we had had a Lotto subscription as a department, mentioned in The Misery Index).

The thought that innocent people were murdered for the simple act of going to work was horrible enough; knowing that, for some, they died going to jobs that they had despised made it even more tragic.

Fortunately, my friend gathered his staff and acted quickly.  While walking down the stairs from floor 44, the second plane hit.  Had they remained on the higher floor, this story might have a different ending.

That day crystalized something we already know: No day is guaranteed.  And while being the victim of a terror attack may have never crossed our minds before 9-11, we have been forced to add that to a long list of things that can change our world in an eye blink.

That tragedy kicked my ass into high gear.  I didn’t want the life I was living.  It wasn’t a terrible existence, mind you, but it was hectic and kept me postponing experiences I craved, such as spending more time with my father who was slipping into the thick of Alzheimer’s disease, and becoming a mother.

At Christmas, we gathered my entire family (over 30 people) for a family celebration.  My parents spent two weeks with us.  By July, we were expecting twins – and there were many complications with the pregnancy that kept reminding me how precious life could be – not that I needed reminding.  I wanted my life filled with the connection and meaning that can sometimes fall into the background when you’re in a constant scramble.

But that’s not to say that the wisdom remained omnipresent in my mind.  We fall into routines and often start moving to a new beat that can easily take over, and I was no less susceptible.  Tony and I started our own firm, and it became a third child – perhaps even more demanding in some ways.  Every quarter-end, tax season, and year-end generated administrative, reconciliation and billing duties that filled me with dread.  Owning our own business was a source of pride, but it kept the lines between personal time and business time incredibly blurred.  In a two-person firm – when the two people are married – it makes truly unplugging on vacation impossible.  One of my deepest wishes, to visit my family in Italy and have my children meet these incredible people, kept being pushed back year after year.

It was five years ago this month that we had a conversation with Josh Brown, Barry Ritholtz and Kris Venne; and when we decided to join them, it made it possible to plan this trip.  And yet, it took almost five years before I made it happen.

A lot could have happened in those five years that would have prevented my dream from being realized; namely, no day is guaranteed.  I had forgotten that, somehow, in the thick of being busy.

We made it to Italy this summer, and my cousins chastised me for waiting 21 years to return.  As we sat in the valley between magnificent mountain ranges I sighed and said, “If I died right now, it would be okay.”

They all laughed and thought I was being funny.  Obviously, I’m not looking forward to my death, but this one burning wish was finally being realized and it made me feel sated in a way I couldn’t adequately express.

As if life had to knock me over the head, just to make sure I received the message, we returned home to one client nearing the end of an illness I was convinced she would beat.  She was a little younger than me with two sons, like me – and there she was at the end of life already.  It didn’t seem possible, and it certainly wasn’t fair.  Other clients of ours lost their adult daughter unexpectedly while we were away.  She had so much more road ahead of her; it didn’t seem possible that it had ended for her before it really began.  But, then again, heartbreak is never fair.

When I sit down with clients who have finally attained retirement age –there is usually hesitation, anxiety about not having a paycheck, about winding down; it is uncomfortable to realize that the meter is running faster and faster.  Denying it or depriving yourself of the experiences you have always dreamed of doesn’t keep the inevitable at bay.  And, importantly, crossing things off the bucket list isn’t a jinx.  It doesn’t fast-track kicking the bucket.

If there is one thing I can tell clients with certainty it’s that they will never regret having those experiences, but they may deeply regret falling ill suddenly while waiting for the “perfect time” to live it.

Planning is important, but if you don’t actually execute on your plan, life will see to it one way or another – with or without you.   Don’t let a crisis be your defining moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My colleague Dina Isola @RealSmartica testified before the US House of Representatives Financial Services Committee this morning in support of a strong fiduciary standard for all financial advisors.

She is armed with the most important weapon of all – the truth. pic.twitter.com/b26w3pJS4b

— Downtown Josh Brown (@ReformedBroker) March 14, 2019

Weeks ago, I found myself writing testimony I would deliver before the House Financial Services Subcommittee on Investor Protection, Entrepreneurship and Capital Markets.  The topic was examining the SEC’s Best Interest Rule to see if this “replacement” for the fiduciary rule could ensure that investors’ needs would be put first by financial professionals.

Sorry to say, I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz after the curtain was pulled back – horrified at the bullying and cowardice on display.

Congress had no shortage of spin masters that day.  It disgusted me to watch as these conflicted politicians defended Regulation Best Interest even though it allows financial professionals to partake in sales quotas, contests, and sell higher costing product because it pays higher commissions (which is never in a client’s best interest). 

I walked away angry over the fact that those in a position of authority are tainted in the worst of ways and it enables them to politicize the issues and use ignorance and fear to keep the American public fleeced into thinking that lawmakers are looking out for them.

Now, in fairness, there were two bright spots that stood out – Rep. Katie Porter (CA) and Rep. Carolyn Maloney (NY) clearly were looking to strengthen investor protections.  So, if you happen to be lucky enough to have one of these fierce ladies representing you – congratulations!  They gave me a tiny glimmer of hope that not all politicians are looking to their next high-paying gig.

In the days and weeks following my testimony – I did a slow burn that kept intensifying and no amount of ranting seemed to get it out of me.  It percolated in me like a toxic sludge.

My poor husband who had endured the weeks of neurosis leading up to my testimony now had to deal with the aftermath, too.  Sometimes, life just isn’t fair.

Coincidentally, we had a number of financial literacy classes scheduled with high school students over the course of the next month.  It was there I found some peace.

If I couldn’t beat the bastards – I would work to educate others so they could not be taken advantage of.  Armed with the most passionate teacher I know (Tony), we set out and that seemed to be a therapy of sorts.

It reminded me of how, years earlier (before the fiduciary rule was even on the table) he and I would give Investor Self Defense presentations.  Over time, we had built up our clients and had less time to devote to these programs – but we had always enjoyed informing others.  It is truly at the heart of who we always have been.  Nothing has changed.

Today, our emphasis may be on the lack of protections afforded to teachers’ retirement plans – but as long as there is no fiduciary rule governing IRA accounts, college savings plans, and regular brokerage accounts – we are all teachers.  We are all vulnerable to fall prey to a convincing sales pitch.  We can all fall prey to conflicted salespeople purporting to be trusted advisors.  We can all be duped into thinking the sales guy is really working for us, when he is working for a firm who has made campaign contributions to sway politicians into weakening investor protections for their own benefit.

It’s even easier for us to become prey when the gatekeepers in Congress would rather prop up an outdated, inefficient and expensive business model than insist that they do better for investors.

It’s only a matter of time before the public catches on and finds fiduciaries to work with – or low-cost mutual fund companies, like Vanguard which allow investors to do an end-run around expensive product and unhelpful advice.  Firms like Betterment are also offering low-cost automated investment options. 

The financial services industry should support raising the bar on protections; higher standards give investors confidence and faith in our economic system.  That is an important ingredient for economic growth and robust markets. 

The brokerage and insurance industries best enjoy their gluttonous feast now because the purge will be violent.  And make no mistake – that day will come. 

Millennials are breaking with tradition and the old mold will be cracked open.  They don’t care who their parents used for investments.  In fact, they’re pretty mistrustful of the established way of doing things.  Good for them!

Our representatives in Congress should look to raise their standards above their own personal gains and interest.  Greater faith in the government is never a bad thing.  Apparently, members of Congress didn’t get the memo that Americans find them to be the most mistrusted group. 

Sadly, I have to agree.

Unfortunately not everyone realizes that it is open season on investors; we live in a buyer beware environment.   For those who are informed, the onus is on us make others aware so they can look out for themselves.

I had the pleasure of speaking with Barry Ritholtz about this experience and he asked me if testifying had been a waste of my time.  While it certainly felt fruitless, I did walk away feeling the need to scream from the rooftops: Watch out because the regulators aren’t watching out for you. 

Consider this my rooftop.  Now do a good turn and let someone less informed know.