A little more than two months before my due date, panic set in. Though I had much experience as an aunt and babysitter, and in spite of my life-long fantasies of motherhood, the moment was quickly approaching where my life would change forever. Change, even joyous change, can be terrifying. In my case, a difficult twin pregnancy kept very dire possibilities hanging in the balance. My husband was eerily calm; if I didn't know better I would have thought he was medicated. I spoke to my sister-in-law, whose support was always there for me like a welcoming smile. "Were you scared that you wouldn't be able to do it?" I asked. "Childbirth?" she laughed. "No. I can't even think about that! What if I can't do this job?" I was near tears. Every twin book I read described delirium to the point of doubling up on feeding one baby, while accidentally starving the other. Was this really something I would do? She laughed and gave me the best advice I have ever received, Read on...
The Gift Daughters Really Need
When it comes to money, age won’t make someone wiser or give them confidence if there is no real-world experience backing it up; even having a career won’t. For women, the situation is particularly dire. According to the Global Financial Literacy Excellence Center’s Working Women’s Financial Capability Study, working women lag men in basic financial literacy (31% vs. 52%); the gap is more pronounced in advanced financial knowledge (12% vs. 24%). As a mother to sons, I may be all wet on this one; but I am a daughter. I credit my parents, my father in particular, with being diligent in raising independent daughters. My father, born in 1917, was nearly 50 when I was born. As a first- generation American of Italian descent, his thoughts on gender roles were traditional with a capital T. My mother stayed at home with their seven children while he worked. It wasn’t until I was a teenager that I discovered he had dropped out of high school, earning his equivalency in his Read on...
Destination Unknown?
Imagine you’re about to set out on a road trip. You would absolutely need to have an idea of where you wanted to go – north, south, east, or west. You would have to work within the confines of how much time you had for this trip – that would determine how far you could go. Your financial goals are no different than that road trip; failing to plan means planning to fail. Even if you haven’t given retirement much thought, in terms of what it looks like and feels like, chances are you have an idea of when you would like to have the freedom to walk away. For those of you bemoaning that you will need to work until you die, it’s time to see if that is really true or simply your worst fear taking over and freezing you in your tracks. But, you have to set your goals. You have to make this a priority. The trouble is, unlike the mortgage payment or electric bill, there are no immediate ramifications if you don’t take the time to do this. It is important, but it is not Read on...
Life’s Unpleasantries
My husband was up to something. He was pounding away at the computer and printing like a madman. When I didn’t hear the whir of the printer, there was the distinct sound of the three-hole punch chewing its way through paper. “I’m working on something,” is all he would say. It seemed to excite him, this project. I wondered what it was. When “it” appeared, it wasn’t impressive looking. It was a plain white three-ring binder. “Open it,” is all he said, smiling. I wondered if it was something romantic. I didn't figure him as a poet; could I have missed that after all these years of marriage? He was beaming like a cat that just dragged home a bird carcass as an affectionate offering. “What is it?” I asked. “The Death Book.” For some strange reason, he was still smiling. “In case something should happen to me, this book will tell you where everything is, who you need to contact…” he continued on, but I wasn’t listening any longer. I recoiled from this stark white book Read on...