For the first time, I am glad my mother is not alive. This virus is ugly and would have liked her COPD-compromised lungs. And with her living far from us, it would have been a torturous waiting game. For many, that worry is ever on their minds; or worse, they have lost their mothers (and other loved ones). Not being able to comfort someone as they die; not being able to mourn properly adds a level of cruelty to this pandemic that would have been impossible to imagine before all Read on...
Time to Think
When the fog of this pandemic finally starts to lift, in spite of the devastation and loss, there will be many improvements to our daily lives. The procrastination that takes place during busier times has been replaced with a resolve to plow through as many dreaded tasks as possible, to “make the most” of the quarantine. On a small, measurable scale, garages will be cleaned out, closets will be organized, new skills and hobbies will have been explored, to name a few. For those whose Read on...
A Good Lead
I recognized the importance of a good lead on the dance floor at my niece’s wedding. Even though I like to dance, I was grossly out-matched by my brother-in-law, who dances at a level worthy of Dancing with the Stars. When we first stepped on to the floor, I scrambled to keep up with him, unsure of what was coming. But the longer we stayed out there, the easier it became to anticipate what the next move was going to be. A good advisor is like that strong lead that makes the difficult Read on...
An Age-Proof Plan
It was supposed to be a quiet and uneventful Christmas. Our family had been through a rough couple of years with various family members having had serious health issues and we were still twitching from it all. Just about the time we were getting for the year to change from old to new, the call came that my mother’s health had taken a bad turn - and off to Florida I went with some of my siblings. We’d been in a similar situation with my father years before so we were better prepared this Read on...
Dragging out a College Degree is a Drag on Finances
Parents might focus on tuition and room and board prices and ignore another culprit that makes school more expensive: staying in college for longer than four years. It’s a common problem, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. Just 41% of full-time students attending college for the first time earn their bachelors’ degrees in four years. Extra time at an institution is expensive. For 2019-2020, the average costs for college tuition and fees are $10,116 (public, Read on...
Get into Giving
Exactly one year ago, I wrote a post, Hardwired to Help, which told about our front-row seat in the world of pediatric cancer. My goal was two-fold: to raise awareness about pediatric cancers (September gold), but also to encourage others to find their cause, whatever that might be. A happiness study I referenced in the post showed that helping others can have a positive effect on the body by lowering blood pressure. So what holds people back from giving? According to a 2016 report by Read on...
Reflect, but Remember to Act
Crises of any kind usually require all of our attention at once. After the immediate emergency or threat passes and the brain stops pinging, reflection is possible; such was the case for me in the months following September 11, 2001. It had taken a while for the shock to wear off, but when it did, my perspective was irreparably altered and my sense of urgency was acute – for a time, anyway. On that fateful day, the World Trade Center was quite a distance from my midtown office. I (along with Read on...
Living with Money Podcast
Recently, I had the pleasure of speaking with Tim Mullooly, the host of the Living with Money podcast. There are plenty of times when I feel like I'm railing against the system, and that the industry is in need of a fire-hose spray down, but when I speak with fellow advisors who are doing right by investors it lifts me in ways I can't adequately describe. Such is the case with Tim. He and his family have their own fee-only registered advisory firm, Mullooly Asset Management. They built Read on...
We Are ALL Teachers
Weeks ago, I found myself writing testimony I would deliver before the House Financial Services Subcommittee on Investor Protection, Entrepreneurship and Capital Markets. The topic was examining the SEC’s Best Interest Rule to see if this “replacement” for the fiduciary rule could ensure that investors’ needs would be put first by financial professionals. Sorry to say, I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz after the curtain was pulled back – horrified at the bullying and cowardice on Read on...
Your Creative Solution
I had the pleasure of interviewing Gabriela Pereira for On Her Mind podcast. While her business focuses on writers, her message is universal: Our mindset can greatly limit our creative spirit. I first encountered Gabriela when her book, DIY MFA (Do-it-yourself Master’s in Fine Arts) was released. As one who loves to read and write fiction, her ability to boil down the critical components of this coveted degree intrigued me. When would I find the time to pursue this degree? Read on...
Relentless Optimism
Like most people, I have a real soft spot for the underdog. Yanely Espinal has a unique story to tell, but the theme of trying to make a better life is at the core, and that story never grows old for me. Her parents immigrated to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic and had little formal education. As one of nine children growing up in a three-bedroom apartment in Bushwick, Brooklyn she hadn't thought about money as abundant - and when she arrived on the campus of Brown University, her Read on...
Calling All Ladies
I had the pleasure of catching up with my colleague, Blair duQuesnay, for an episode of On Her Mind podcast. She shed some light on the history of women in the workforce and shared that, before 1973, newspapers had segregated the help wanted ads by gender. So it is a fairly recent development that women have been part of the professional business world. This might explain why current workplace policies have not consistently addressed the challenges faced by dual-career couples raising Read on...
Resolve to Beat the Odds
What if I told you that you could immediately accomplish a New Year’s resolution that most people fail at, all before January even comes to a close? You can, and it won’t be that painful or time-consuming; I promise. In “10 Top New Year’s Resolutions for Success and Happiness in 2019”, Peter Economy cites "saving more money" as one of the most popular goals people have. Overall only 8% of people making resolutions succeed, and those seeking to improve their money situation Read on...
From Disinterested to Fully Engaged
For the better part of my career in the financial world, I was somewhat of a disinterested investor. Even though contributions were made to my retirement account, bills were paid on time, debt was kept manageable, credit cards were paid on time, and the bank account was never overdrawn - I wasn't fully engaged. What drew me in was not my own situation, but my father's illness that left my mother in need of help. Suddenly, it was critical that I step up my knowledge and involvement. The Read on...
Introducing On Her Mind Podcast
Today I want to unveil my latest project: On Her Mind, a podcast to address the many worries that weigh on a woman’s brain. Whether you are a woman, or want to understand women better, this podcast sheds light on topics many want to learn about but resist asking about – things like money, careers, relationships, and aging parents. My first guest is Carolyn McClanahan, who offers up insights on how to make a fresh start with your career path. Carolyn has walked the walk by transitioning Read on...
How an English Major Became an Advisor
We live in a time when expressing an opinion and having an audience is as nearby as a cellphone. We can always have lots of people agreeing with us, in fact – algorithms for social media, such as Facebook, guarantee that we will find our very own choir to preach to. It makes us feel better to know others share our opinion; it makes us feel smarter, too. If that is not enough, we get immediate gratification in the forms of likes, share, and retweets to make us feel bigger and more Read on...
The Kids Will Be Alright
“I’m mad at myself for wasting time,” he said. “Nine whole years have passed that I won’t get back, and I did nothing!” I suppressed a laugh, but I was not making fun; I was astonished. I’ve heard this many, many times but this guy was different. He was 25 years old, lamenting about what he did not do at age 16. His wise grandmother had told him to start contributing to a Roth IRA when he was 16. She showed him how $5,500 invested annually until he retired at 66 would Read on...
Planning for the “Big” Day
One of the greatest “gifts” I ever received from my parents did not feel like a gift a first; it was a torturous exercise, truth be told. Involving me in their estate planning would be something that would offer my entire family peace of mind, but not until much later down the road. I did not ask to be involved; I actually was uncomfortable looking at my parents’ finances; it felt like TMI. To put things in perspective, I was not a financial advisor at the time, nor was Tony. I Read on...
Simple Does It
There are a few things that immediately make me more relaxed and happy to face the day: a strong cup of coffee, a nice walk, and a hot shower. It’s nice to know that I can guarantee myself a good start to the day with such simple things. It got me thinking that people rarely do this with their finances. Instead, financial matters are treated like an overstuffed, messy closet that needs to be dealt with but remains closed (and avoided). Make no mistake, procrastination weighs on the Read on...
Hardwired to Help
Sometimes you find a cause to support, but when a cause finds you it means something in life has sunk its teeth in and has torn some of your flesh. Such was the case for our family when, in 2014, our fifth-grade son showed me a lump on his neck. What appeared to be an infected lymph node turned out to be Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. And, while it was caught in its early stages and is one of the more curable cancers, the road to recovery was filled with a hot-coal walk no child should Read on...
Your Silver Lining Financial Playbook
Often, I have seen people burdened with a financial secret; something that they have not faced head-on or have been hiding from their families, and it leads to emotional overwhelm. Over the last month, I have had several conversations with a successful career woman who has amassed credit card debt that she cannot pay off in full. Though she has never been late or delinquent in paying her bills, the guilt and self-loathing she carries was keeping her stuck in place – paying the minimum or a Read on...
Hooray for Me, and the Hell with You
When my mother wanted me to be aware of someone’s self-serving nature she would say, “Hooray for me, and the hell with you!” That one sentence was a much-needed warning as my tendency was to follow the Golden Rule (“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”). The trouble is, sometimes you can feel like a bit of a patsy following that rule when everyone is muttering through a fake smile, “The hell with you!” At a company like Wells Fargo, management has built their fortunes Read on...
Waiting for Good Dough
“...Let us not waste our time in idle discourse! Let us do something, while we have the chance....” Vladimir, Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett The characters in Waiting for Godot sit under a leafless tree waiting for Godot to show up and it is like groundhog’s day. Time drags out and actions repeat in an endless loop. The men insist they will not wait for Godot, and yet they continue to do so, even though they know it is useless. It is maddening and futile. It reminds me of something I Read on...
The Humble Express
Our sons have been playing in a summer basketball league and have entered the playoff season. The first opponent they faced was a team they had beaten easily during the regular season. “They don’t know how to play! We’re going to kill them!” my son said. “You played them at the beginning of the season, things could have come together by now,” I cautioned. “Never underestimate your opponent in a game, or in life.” Cue the eye roll – because you know that’s exactly how he responded. As my Read on...
Ancient, Relevant and Wise
I had the pleasure of attending the EBI West last week. For those of you unfamiliar with it, it is a conference for financial advisors and the theme is evidenced-based investing. There were many distinguished speakers from the financial industry with interesting perspectives, but the content the “outsiders” to the industry brought was refreshing and enlightening; especially one who spoke about ancient Greek philosophy. I am being quite serious. He was riveting. Ryan Holiday, a Read on...
The Misery Index
My senior year of college wasn’t filled with the dread that some of my classmates seemed to carry. All the “countdown” parties went on without me; I didn’t feel the need to squeeze the last bit of juice out of my carefree days as a student. I was itching to get on with it; the next big event in my life was hovering on the horizon and was taking forever to arrive. I was impatient for my real life to begin. Had I not been so doe-eyed, I might have clung to every moment of what was slipping Read on...
No Substitute for Personal Responsibility
I had the privilege of attending a parent/student meeting at South Side High School in Rockville Centre the other night. For a change, I was neither an attending parent nor a presenter; I was a very interested observer for a number of reasons. As a mother to teenagers, I was happy to see a school district take a novel approach to support teens in making better choices. It’s hard enough to do the right thing in life; when you’re young and inexperienced, filled with emotions and dying to be Read on...
Investor Self Defense Checklist
I had the pleasure of speaking with Dina Cataldo of Soul Roadmap podcast to discuss "How to Reach Your Money Goals." She has put together an informative and inspiring show aimed at giving people tools and strategies to live their best lives, and she covers a myriad of topics. It was a lively discussion and it inspired me to put together an Investor Self Defense Checklist to help make sure your financial plan works for you: ____I have an emergency fund of 3-6 months' worth of living expenses Read on...
Simple Questions, Convoluted Answers
A new client wanted to switch out of an annuity she had bought in her retirement account with a previous adviser. Needless to say, my antenna goes up when I see annuities in a retirement account because it is both unnecessary and expensive to own these insurance products for their tax-deferral benefits, when this feature is "free" to retirement accounts. As I waded through her paperwork, I clearly saw that she would be hit with a $3,000 surrender charge to get out -- and I Read on...
Dirty, Money Secrets
“You are my 50th birthday present to myself,” a woman said to me, as we sat down to meet. “I’m tired of not feeling like an adult, it’s like I have a dirty money secret.” I’ve heard variations of this same theme many times. This is what women say to me when no one is listening. I could fill a room with these women -- then maybe they would see that many struggle with this very subject. The trouble is no one wants to admit their deficiency – and if you stay silent, advice won’t find Read on...
My Mother’s Heart
My mom, Lucy, 1945 While I think of my mother numerous times throughout the day, this week, just days away from Mother’s Day, I got a little wink from her. A client of ours sent us a note of appreciation. He and his wife have worked with us since 2015. Not to sound too sappy here, but that’s the kind of stuff that makes what we do so fulfilling. What does my mother have to do with this? Everything. As was often the case with her, she gave money to numerous charities. One such charity was Read on...
A Way out of the 403(b) Maze
It has been almost two years since Tony and I formally embarked on a mission to educate and free teachers from expensive and inappropriate investments in their 403(b) accounts. Our main message has been buyer beware. A teacher, Chase Malia, has taken it a giant leap forward – proposing Resolution #41 to his union, NYSUT, which would affect all of the members, not just his district. The union acted to approve the resolution, which will protect members from financial predators by: Educating Read on...
When Values and Investing Align
Scott Dauenhauer, Tony and I caught up with Joey Fishman, Ritholtz Wealth Management's ESG expert on the Planning to Teach and Retire Rich Podcast to discuss ESG and sustainable investing. In a climate of less government regulation, some companies are taking a stance on environmental, social and governance issues to reflect their missions/values. Investors, too, have become increasingly interested in where their money gets put to use and this is creating an opportunity for asset managers who Read on...
335 Days of Financial Illiteracy …
Imagine: you give a teenager access to car keys when they have never driven a car or taken Driver's Education. You simply tell them to drive carefully and you hope for the best. That would be setting them up for failure, and yet, we do this every day with personal finance. The stakes might not be dying in a car crash, but racking up massive amounts of student loan debt before even starting a career may be a death of a certain kind, nonetheless. According to The Student Loan Report, national Read on...
Change Your Tune
My son considered his course options for next year. His dilemma was how to meet the visual arts requirement; art classes interest him like watching paint peel. We suggested a digital photography class. “I hear it’s a lot of work!” he said, “It’s not easy, you have to know about camera settings – you don’t just go off and use the camera.” I started to scold him that he was being lazy and not challenging himself, but the truth is I remember looking for the easy way out to classes that didn’t Read on...
An Unforgettable Journey
My Dad, 1991 We sat on the other side of the doctor’s desk. My father was wedged between my mother and me, just in case he tried to make a break for it. It turns out, I was the one who wanted to run. The doctor started off in a light, conversational tone but my father, even in his confused state knew an interrogation was coming. He looked to me, a weak nervous smile on his face, and I wanted to stop what was coming next. But we were there for answers – even if I didn’t really want to Read on...
Why “Boring” Really is Beautiful
I have a bird’s-eye view into the many ways investors have been misdirected by their financial salespeople; but this past week I encountered a perplexing situation – which is rare, as I’ve seen a lot. In the past, the usual "suspect-behavior" has been selling investors expensive mutual funds and annuities when better, lower cost options existed. I’ve seen investors saddled with unnecessary surrender charges and no asset allocation strategy. In short, I’ve seen no rhyme or reason to the Read on...
Talkers Aren’t Walkers
When asked by strangers what I do for a living, nothing makes people recoil more than realizing my profession has to do with financial matters. If only they knew that, as a fee-only fiduciary, my role as a financial advisor is markedly different than what they have come to think of from a financial “professional.” I have had the following hurled at me by people who assume that all of us in the industry are alike: “Oh, you’re a salesman!” – Gender aside, no I’m not. Selling is as Read on...
The Devil Is in the Detail
As our sons started to dip their toes in online consumerism via eBay and Amazon, I realized it was time for an education. Armed with gift cards and trigger-happy index fingers, it was too easy to buy. They lacked the healthy skepticism smart consumers have. They would inadvertently buy an accessory to something, when they thought the main item was included, for example; or they were lured into knock-offs that they believed were real. Investing can be tricky like that, especially if you are not Read on...
Hang Up Your Bell and Your Worries
I can worry about lots of things if I let myself – I am a mother after all, so that is fused with my DNA. But one thing I’m really not worried about is an impending market crash. Why? Because that is what many people seem to be worrying about. To be clear, a correction is certainly possible; I have no crystal ball. But, being contrarian by nature, my reaction to what everyone is thinking is to move in the other direction. I’m not “making a statement” or being snarky; nor am I smarter than Read on...
Ladies, First!
A little more than two months before my due date, panic set in. Though I had much experience as an aunt and babysitter, and in spite of my life-long fantasies of motherhood, the moment was quickly approaching where my life would change forever. Change, even joyous change, can be terrifying. In my case, a difficult twin pregnancy kept very dire possibilities hanging in the balance. My husband was eerily calm; if I didn't know better I would have thought he was medicated. I spoke to my Read on...
Shoot the Inner, Sitting Duck
My last post, "Nailing Financial Predators," may have left some feeling like an easy mark. But what if we could take our six natural human responses to persuasion and make them work in our favor? Well, we can. Here are some ideas on how to proactively take charge and shoot that inner, sitting duck: 1. Authority - If we respond to the perception that someone has expertise or power over us, it's best to make sure that that reverence is actually warranted before heeding their advice. Read on...
Nailing Financial Predators
“A prize fighter in a corner is told, hit where it hurts. Silver and gold.” - U2* Every time Tony and I have met with prospective clients who have come from traditional brokerage channels (literally, every single time) there is an uncomfortable point in the meeting where they are ashamed at the fact that they received no financial plan; no real coherent diversification strategy to minimize risks; no exit strategy as to when they can jump off the hamster wheel and enjoy the fruits of their Read on...
Intelligence is no Match for Ignorance
I remember the first time I helped a colleague of Tony’s switch out of a horrible 403(b). Tony had come to me aghast over what he had seen; an annuity with 4% in fees and longstanding surrender fees. We had no idea that this was not the exception to the rule; nor did we realize that this would become our full-time obsession. Here was an educated, savvy woman who had absolutely no idea how badly she was being ripped off. It turns out that there were many more teachers, just like her, who had Read on...
Matters of the Heart
I learned, at a fairly young age, that life can change as quickly as it takes a heart to beat. It was the day before Thanksgiving, 1973, when my father suffered a heart attack. He was 56 and I was 8. As the sole breadwinner, I am sure all the worries he had about caring for his wife and seven kids (four of whom were minors) were pinging in his head, keeping time with his rapid pulse rate. Thankfully, after several weeks in the hospital, he was allowed to come home in time for Christmas. Read on...
Sexism, Lies and Videotape
I received an interesting call; or should I say my husband, Tony, did. Though I introduced myself as Tony's business partner, there was much reluctance to speak with me. I guess this gentleman thought I was a 'gal Friday.' Finally, he decided to take up his solicitation with me, though it wouldn’t have mattered to whom he spoke with – the answer would have been the same. He tried to sell me on the idea that we should reward our top clients with a trip to some Read on...
Morgan Stanley Clients: Assume the Position
Morgan Stanley clients should think long and hard about what’s in it for them, seeing how that is all Morgan Stanley is thinking about. According to Sarah Krouse and Michael Wursthorn of The Wall Street Journal, “Morgan Stanley has already decided that as of next week its brokers will no longer be able to sell clients new positions in Vanguard mutual funds.” Because offering clients quality, low-cost funds is a horrible thing to do? No, Morgan Stanley would rather push product Read on...
Pope Francis: The Best Case for Fiduciaries
Coming up on the (gasp) 30th anniversary of my graduation from Fairfield University, I find myself nostalgic for the courses that taught me so much beyond the classroom. The (late) Dr. Art Anderson gave his Sociology students much to chew on, including this nugget: “In the work world, all of you are ahead of the game. You have straight white teeth and a nice smile.” He wasn’t paying us a compliment though. Being a Jesuit school with an emphasis on education and social justice, the Read on...
The Gift Daughters Really Need
When it comes to money, age won’t make someone wiser or give them confidence if there is no real-world experience backing it up; even having a career won’t. For women, the situation is particularly dire. According to the Global Financial Literacy Excellence Center’s Working Women’s Financial Capability Study, working women lag men in basic financial literacy (31% vs. 52%); the gap is more pronounced in advanced financial knowledge (12% vs. 24%). As a mother to sons, I may be all wet on Read on...
Attention, Shoppers!
It’s a great paradox of life that people will clip coupons, or drive out of their way to save $5 at a sale and yet, when it comes to their personal finances, they ignore the chance to save thousands of dollars. This opportunity is real: it is the employer-sponsored retirement plan. Participating in – or increasing contributions to – a 401(k), 403(b), 457(b), Simple IRA, SARSEP, or a Single K reduces taxable income. To quantify the value of this on a federal and state tax level let’s look at Read on...
A Plan to Overcome Panic Paralysis
The first time I discovered the power of panic paralysis, my husband and I were on the verge of moving out of a one-bedroom apartment and buying our first home. We had been aggressively saving to buy our freedom from our landlord. I liked stock-pile mode: we controlled it; and it was relatively simple – we put aside as much money as we could and we were able to go at our own pace. We were building something, together. But the prospects of turning all that money over made me feel beholden Read on...